Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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