Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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