I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
