I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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