I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize