why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
My dad is sitting where you rode me
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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