bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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