I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just found puke in my bra..
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
