Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
