He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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