Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
