So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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