she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize