4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
