My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
