there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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