Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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