he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
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