She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
