someone threw a dead crab at me
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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