Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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