I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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