I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
