Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
