Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
