That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize