i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
