Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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