You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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