..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
