sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
