tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
