Say something about gay babies.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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