I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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