what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
i now understand why vodka
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
