Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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