i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
