i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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