her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
