If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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