if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize