I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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