so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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