You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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