One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
