I want to make a zoo with you.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
