I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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