like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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