She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
