things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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