Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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