He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
