you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
