It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
