You smell like stripper and shame
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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