He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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