Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
