i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
