Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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