you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
