Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
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We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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