clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
