i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
